LOVE AMONG THE RUINS
Part 5: Bitch
By Lara Means

"Mulder, you're thinking again." She could tell just by looking at him that his mind was hard at work, even though his body was exhausted.

"I'm just wondering, Scully, how long you've had this little jealousy problem," he murmured, wrapping himself around her.

"From the beginning." 

He gave her a look. 

"Phoebe Green," she said.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Scully, that was... God, that was forever ago.  And it was over long before she came to Washington."

"Didn't seem like it."

"What happened to 'everything's behind us'?"

"Almost everything." She grinned, snuggling close in his arms. "But I *was* jealous of her. Of every woman who's paid attention to you."

"Must be a short list."

She laughed softly.

"What?" he asked.

"You still don't get it. All these years, and you still don't get it."

"Get what?"

"The effect you have on women."

"Well, I know the effect I have on *you*," he said as he nuzzled her ear.

"Yes, but..." She paused, momentarily distracted, then continued, "Women have always been attracted to you, Mulder."

"You ever do anything about it?"

"What, like tell some woman to back off?" 

He nodded.

"Once," she said.

He pulled away from her throat to look at her, aghast. "Who?"

"Karin Berquist."

"Karin-- Scully...Karin Berquist, that was just--"

"-- two professionals exchanging information, I know. But she wanted you, and I wasn't about to let her have you."

"What did you say to her?"

"I just made sure she knew *I* knew what she was up to."

"I can't believe you did that."

"What was so frustrating, Mulder, was your complete disbelief that the woman could have lured you out there to meet you. You can be damn charming when you want to be, and she was probably captivated the moment you struck up an on-line conversation. You're intelligent, funny, passionate -- and that's before she got a look at you."

He stared at her in disbelief. "You're serious."

"I couldn't get it out of my mind the whole time we were there. And when you did that little touchy-feely thing, I almost lost it."

"What touchy-feely thing?"

"You don't remember."

"You do, obviously."

She sighed. "She was at the computer. You wanted to show her something, so you put your hand over hers on the mouse."

"I have no recollection of doing that."

"Of course not. Because you didn't see it as a seductive gesture. She did, and you had no idea at the time." She sat up in bed, pulling the covers up around her. "I wanted to show you, Mulder, how attractive you were. How you affected Karin Berquist, how you affected *me*. But things happened --"

"Tell me," he whispered, moving to hold her again. "Tell me what you would've done."

* * *

I get back to the motel before him -- he's still at the vet clinic. It's probably a good thing he's not here, because I'm still fuming over that conversation with Karin Berquist.

"Feminine wiles, my ass," I mutter, kicking my shoes across the room. "A lot of good they've done me."

I stare daggers at the door connecting our rooms, again wondering how Mulder can be so dense. "I'm flattered," he says, refusing to see it.

It's a wonder I have any buttons left after I strip off my clothes and get ready for bed. I forego a shower, knowing it wouldn't do me any good. But I know what *would* help... and I hear him coming in next door.

I wait a bit, until he's had a chance to start undressing. Then I throw open the connecting door and march right into his room --

**I think I'd remember that.**

**You would if I'd done it, but this is what I *would've* done, remember?**

**Oh. Right. Carry on.**

-- march right into his room. I timed it just right -- his shirt is unbuttoned and untucked, and he's so startled by my bursting in he looks a bit befuddled. It's a good look on him.

"Scully, what --"

I don't give him time to finish his question. Instead, I grab him by the shoulders and shove him up against the nearest wall. My body molded to his, I take his face in my hands and kiss him.

If he was startled before, he's stunned now.

He ain't seen nothin' yet.

I part his lips, my tongue snaking into his mouth. He recovers quicker than I expected and responds to my kiss, trying to take control. He brings his hands up to my arms, my shoulders -- my hands find his and move them away. I'm pinning him to the wall with my body and my mouth, and it feels so good...

He breaks the kiss and looks down at me, seriously puzzled. He gives me that little-boy lopsided grin and I think I fall for him all over again.

"Glad to see you too, Scully," he murmurs, then leans in to kiss me.

Uh-uh -- this is my party. I pull back from him, still holding on to his hands.

"Wait a min--"

"Shh..." I tell him, pulling him toward the bed. I let go of his hands long enough to take off his shirt, then I slide my hands up underneath his t-shirt and take that off too. He reaches for me and I sidestep him, shaking my head. "Later," I promise, then take hold of his waistband.

Mulder finally gets a clue and stands there, still and silent, as I unbutton his trousers. He trembles a bit when my fingers find the zipper, and I smile. I take this part slowly, savoring the anticipation that crackles between us.  I can feel him beneath my knuckles, half-erect just from our kisses.

Zipper down, I slide his pants off his hips, giving his ass a squeeze as they fall. Now *I'm* trembling as I slip my hands under the elastic and ease his shorts down too.

He's mostly naked now, standing there with his pants around his ankles. I turn him around to sit him on the bed, then I kneel down. Apparently he kicked his shoes off the second he walked into the room, so all I have to worry about are his socks and pants and shorts. Once I've taken care of that, I look up at him.

His eyes are closed. His fists are closed. His Adam's apple works as he swallows hard. It takes a second or two, but I finally get it.

He's naked, and I'm on my knees in front of him.

Well, that was my plan anyway. Sort of.

I reach up and stroke his face -- he leans into my touch, eyes still closed. "Mulder," I whisper, and he opens them.  "Lie down."

He moves up further on the bed, hastily shoving some pillows behind his head. He looks glorious like this, naked and aroused. I get up and step away, not too far, just so he can see me. I begin to unbutton my pajamas, taking it slow, doing this for him. My nipples harden almost painfully when the cool air hits them, so I cup my breasts and squeeze.

On the bed, Mulder moans -- and I see that he's taken himself in hand, moving slowly from root to tip. My eyebrow arches and I step closer, removing his hand from my prize.

"Mine," I tell him, hastily stepping out of my pajama bottoms and panties. Mulder whimpers a bit when he sees me, and part of me wants to let him look to his heart's content -- but that can wait. Tonight's about something else.

I climb onto the bed next to him, stretching up to kiss him again -- God, this man can kiss! We'll definitely have to do this more often. Then I pull away and nuzzle his ear.  I lick his neck, bite his shoulder, nibble my way down toward his chest. He tries to get his hands into the action, but I gently swat them away. It takes a minute or so, but he finally understands and uses his hands to grip the sheets.

When I reach Mulder's nipples, I depart from my previously determined course -- inspired by his reaction before when I squeezed my breasts, I raise up above him, my hands on his shoulders. Then I lower my body until my nipples just touch his -- the groan and shudder I get from him tell me how much he likes this.

Or was that me groaning?

I lower myself completely and we're pressed together, skin to skin, and I have to claim his mouth again. This time he wraps his arms around me and tries to roll us over -- it's a struggle, but I manage to keep him on his back.

I break the kiss and get back on track, nibbling my way down his body. I move between his legs and sit back, admiring him, stoking his anticipation. My eyes locked with his, I run my hands slowly up his thighs, from the knee to the crease at his groin. I smile as his eyes practically roll back in his head.

Finally, finally... I play my fingers along the length of his cock. A feather-light touch at first, then more firm, until at last I'm holding him the way he was himself just a few moments ago.

**Mulder, are you okay?**

**Keep going, Scully, don't stop now...**

I stroke him for a while, getting used to his reactions as I tighten or loosen my grip. He's raised up on his elbows, watching me touch him. I'm glad -- that's just how I want him right now.

I lean down and take him into my mouth.

Mulder lets out a long, low moan as the moist heat envelops him. I take this as slowly as before, moving my head up and down, swirling my tongue around the sensitive ridge, letting my teeth gently graze him on the way down again.

His moans are nearly constant now, and knowing how much he's enjoying this is really turning me on. I spread my legs a little and reach between my thighs, shuddering as I rub my clit. First plunging two fingers inside, then rubbing it again, I'm a little distracted from my primary task -- but then, so's Mulder. I glance up to find him flushed and breathing hard, staring at my hand, at what I'm doing.

So I turn my attention back to him -- by relaxing my throat and taking all of him in.

I haven't deep-throated anybody since college, but it's nice to know I haven't lost the skill.

Mulder's hips are moving now, gently thrusting into my mouth. He reaches out a trembling hand and brushes my hair away from my face, so he can watch what I'm doing. I rub myself a little harder, a little faster, and I feel the tingle -- I'm close now, so close.

My movements on Mulder's cock become deeper, longer, more powerful. I run the flat of my tongue up the underside, I hollow my cheeks and suck, I encourage his thrusts. Suddenly the hand that held my hair back now holds my head to him --

He explodes in my mouth.

And I shatter.

After a while, after our orgasms subside, I move up to lie next to him. His arms go around me instantly, but I shift so that his head is on my shoulder. We lay like that for a moment, both of us exhausted, but soon Mulder can't help but ask.

"Scully..."

I head off the question of "why now," mostly because I don't know the answer.  Instead, I give him something else to ponder.

"Other women want you, Mulder. But they can't have you."

He searches my eyes, and apparently he's satisfied by the answer he finds there. He snuggles close and kisses the top of my breast. After a bit we both fall asleep.

* * *

"Of course, what *really* happened was that I had a powerful orgasm all by myself and fell asleep alone in my bed. I didn't even hear you come in."

She noticed that he's breathing hard, and she shifted in his arms. "Mulder?"

"You fantasized about giving me a blow job."

"Well... yes."

"And you came from that fantasy."

"Yes. That's not so unusual... is it?"

He leaned in and kissed her, a passionate kiss. Then he whispered, "Have I told you how glad I am that you married me?"

Mulder refused to look at the clock.

He'd been awake for a while, lying here in the darkness, trying not to think about the passage of time. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't ignore the fact that they only had a few hours left.

Scully was asleep. At least, he thought she was. She was curled up in her characteristic ball, like a red haired hedgehog, and her breathing was slow and easy. He'd almost awakened her several times, wanting her company, not wanting their few remaining hours to go to waste. But each time he'd managed to restrain himself -- and in truth, he took considerable comfort in seeing her like this. Calm. Relaxed. At peace. And as he lay in bed in the dark, listening to her breath, his thoughts drifted.

It had been such a long, strange journey that the two of them had been on. That first day, when she walked into his office, holding her science before her like a gladiator's shield as she entered the arena -- he never could have guessed, way back then, that one day she would become his indispensable, perfect other. He'd given her three months, he remembered. Three months before she got fed up -- with him, and with the X-files. He hadn't been looking for a partner, let alone a soul mate. He hadn't wanted one.

But he'd found one, anyway.

The past 48 hours had been amusing, as they each shared with the other what they remembered about their life together. Amusing, but also enlightening. All those years he'd been watching her, out of the corner of his figurative eye, and now he finally knew that she'd also been watching him. Thinking about him. Fantasizing about him. Wanting him.

He'd explored his feelings about that, earlier in the weekend, trying to figure out how he felt about it. A part of him mourned the wasted time, but for the most part -- surprisingly, considering how moody he often was -- he couldn't find it in himself to have any real regrets. Not about their relationship, anyway.

Oh, there were things he would have done different. And there were definitely things he would change, if only he had the power to do so. There'd been too much pain, too much suffering, and not nearly enough joy. But their love affair?

It might have been a long time coming, but he liked things the way they were. He liked the way things had worked out. And -- as Scully had said once, in another context -- he wouldn't change a single day.

If nothing else, he would never, ever give up their first time together. It had been too special, too fraught with emotion....

"What are you thinking about?"

He blinked, and realized that his eyes had drifted shut.

Scully was awake now, her body uncurling as she stretched languidly. Her bright, blue eyes seemed to pierce the darkness, and she had that somewhat amused, "what-the-hell" look on her face that he loved so well. He leaned in and planted a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth, and she smiled.

* * *

"Mulder?"

"I was just settin' and thinkin'."

"About what? Mmmm. You're nice and warm. I like that in a man."

"Jesus, Scully! Your feet are like ice!"

"I know. Why do you think I put them there? Seriously, Mulder.

What were you thinking about?"

"Us."

"What about us?"

"About ... you know. All the stories we've been telling.

Everything we've remembered. And ... I've been thinking about the first time. You know. That night."

"Oh."

"Hey -- don't be sad. I didn't mean --"

"I know. And I'm not, mostly. It's just ... it was a difficult time."

"Have we ever had any times that weren't difficult, Scully?"

"Not many." Pause. "Mulder? Would you ... would you help me?"

"Help you what?"

"Help me remember."

- - - - - - - - - -

Go to Part 6: "LET ME LOVE YOU TONIGHT" by Char Chaffin